Snow joke!

A 3-year-old with cabin fever, a snowy landscape and an annoying cat are just some of the issues I've had to deal with today. Seb's being very destructive and keeps throwing his father's library books across the room. I am currently in the process of measuring him (Seb, not his father) for a new pair of jeans, I may splash out for a pair of Levi's on eBay from the States as it doesn't cost a great deal more than shops over here, even with the shipping charges.

As for his father, well, there's a story. Apparently he was stuck on a train during Friday night, although according to the news it was only trains in Sevenoaks which were involved and we don't live anywhere near. I'm getting fed up with it now.

Don't buy a new mobile phone from the Orange or 'Everything Everywhere' website unless you want to lose your sanity completely. Six phonecalls, three rants and a mini-explosion later, I think I'm there. Raaahhh!

The life of a working mum

Got up, dressed myself and Seb, fed myself and Seb. Took Seb to nursery, caught train, walked to office, worked. Had lunch with my friend who's having problems with the ongoing care of her elderly mother, returned to the office. Attended appraisal meeting: I'm doing well apparently, which is great. Left office early, train problems, picked up Seb on time though. I'm now sitting on the sofa, awaiting the return of my husband.

Tomorrow's my going out night....what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, etc.

Mother-in-Law Weekend Madness

Firstly, a Margaret update: she's getting physically better, although she'll have to referred to a psychologist when she returns to the UK. Apparently they're expecting to discharge her late next week. Thank goodness for the EHIC card, although I doubt it will cover the cost of the Lucozade and Arrowroot biscuits she's apparently scoffing at the moment!

My weekend has been a fun one because of a certain Helen Leckwith-Smith, or in short, my mother-in-law. HLS, as I call her, is now due to marry her third husband. Her first, hubby Roger's father, allegedly popped out to buy a paper in his camper van and never returned. I can't say that I blame him. She turned up yesterday, having being picked up from Waterloo station by her dutiful son because 'she can't bear sitting on commuter trains' because a gentlemen once spent an entire journey playing 'pocket billiards' with himself whilst reading a copy of The Daily Star.

HLS scanned the state of the house when she arrived, stopping to run a gloved hand over the surfaces, inspecting it and grimacing. When I explained that the recent DIY work had caused dust and disruption she merely replied
"As you know, I had my house rebuilt back in 1987, after the hurricane destroyed the first floor and for the entire duration of the six month build, I maintained a standard of cleanliness which would have made Kim and Aggie proud."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I merely smiled and returned to the warmth of the kitchen, where I poured myself the first of many glasses of wine.

Roger by name, Roger by nature can entertain his own mother. I've just heard her congratulating Seb on his elementary grasp of the newest craze, kiddiebreakdancing on the new laminate floor. Whoopie shit indeed.

Updates and awaydays

Margaret's recovering well in hospital, apparently the riots in Brussels over the past few days held some clues to her disappearance, but not much. Wilf and her parents are trying to determine more, but are seemingly blocked by officials at every step of the way. Some may suggest a conspiracy theory, but I like to keep an open mind.

As for me, well, with Sebastian attending nursery today I decided to visit the Museum of Brands in Notting Hill with my friend Alyce. I'm not sure if you've been, but it's a wonderful place which showcases the history of brands in the 19th, 20th and 21st century. We spent a couple of happy hours reminicising about the sheer amount of convienience food I must have eaten during my childhood, small wonder I'm plus sized!

We spent the afternoon in the pub (hic!) We had absolutely oodles to catch up on, as Alyce is a fellow alumi of medieval history at London University. I can't imagine how we stopped ourselves laughing at William 'the Clito', son of the mighty conqueror, but we did. Still, any class of degree from such a prestigious insitution is fine in my book and although Alyce's first secured her a place in a top law firm, I'm not jealous.

Picked up Seb, returned home. There's no Roger tonight as he's out 'entertaining clients'. I wonder how late he'll be? It's just as well I'm on leave this week or my eye bags couldn't take the strain.

*Stop Press* Margaret's alive!

She was found wandering the streets at 18:35, Brussels time. Dazed and confused. No sign of Arbuthnot's whereabouts though. Her parents have caught the Eurostar and she's recovering at the CHU Saint-Pierre. I'll update my blog once I know more.

Husbands, shoes and more decorating!

Margaret update: no more news I'm afraid. A Whitehall wide appeal entitled 'Find Giles Arbuthnot and Margaret Weaver' has netted the princely sum of £25.76 on the Just Giving website so far.

As for me, well Roger's in the doghouse as far as I'm concerned. The stupid man threw away, yes, binned a brand new pair of Birkenstocks! I was apoplectic with rage and threatened to ban his monthly trips to 'Madame Borgenviella's Heavenly Massages'.

You may think, why would I, his wife put up with such behaviour? Well, Roger was one hell of a catch when I first met him - witty, erudite, well-connected and very attractive. He also has a huge sexual appetite which I can't satisfy. Ten years ago there wasn't a man, woman or animal alive who didn't find him alluring company and it was a huge boost to my confidence when we first got together. I have always been in possession of a plus sized figure that I've never been content with and as a result, I lack confidence.

Our joint incomes also bought us the house we now live in. The mortgage is crippling, but I'm keen to 'keep up with the Jones's' and will ensure that we maintain an acceptable standard of living in the short, medium and long term.

Still no news

Margaret fans: she's still missing I'm afraid. Wilf thought that he'd found a connection to some disgrunted cucumber growers in Nantes which may have bore a grudge towards Arbuthnot, but the trail led to a large greenhouse which housed few clues. The Commission have urged any witnesses to come forward with any news, which is scarce comfort to poor Aunt Marjorie and Uncle Roderick, the latter who has seemingly lived underground for the past few months.

Strange rumour about Arbuthnot #2: he likes to cover himself in Swarfega and rinses himself off with a garden hose.

As for me, well, it's DIY city chez moi. Young Sebastian was sent to my parents whilst a talented tradeswoman calling herself 'Linda's Luxury Laminate Laying' came over and sorted out the ground floor. I was recommended by a the woman in the pet shop who raved about her luxury flooring for pets range. I'm truly amazed, she's a marvel and has owned her own thriving business since her husband ran off with the manager of the local Homebase.

What's happened to Margaret?

Hi. As readers of my cousin Margaret's blog you may already know me. If not, my name's Eleanor Cuffley and I'm married to Roger and we have a son called Sebastian.

Margaret's last post was a worry to us all and allied with the fact that she didn't show up for work on Monday morning, which she's never done before. A search party, centred around the flat, headed by her boyfriend Wilf, failed to determine any answers on Thursday and the European Commission are less than helpful, stating Giles 'Mr A' Arbuthnot's shady past as a possible reason for any alleged abductions.

Although I work in another Government Department to Margaret, my friend Wendy's sister used to work with Arbuthnot and told me of wierd and wonderful rumours about his strange preferences which included covering himself in thick cut marmalade and putting a combination of Ambrosia creamed rice and earthworms in his underpants during a fast stream camping trip.

I'm worried and will keep you posted.