I was truly honoured yesterday - my mother-in-law Helen Leckwith-Smith (HLS to her friends, enemies and the window cleaner) decided to do me a great honour and visit her estranged daughter-in-law and youngest grandson, so with that in mind I ran the Dyson around the laminate floor, plumped up the cushions and removed the squashed fairy cake from behind the TV. HLS was accompanied by Simon, a disabled man she befriended whilst carrying out voluntary work for a charity called 'Patrons of the Disabled' or 'Patronising the Disabled' as I like to call it. Simon clearly doesn't get out much because he says very little and is almost constantly plugged into his tiny radio, mind you, I think I'd employ the same tactics if I had to spend any more time in HLS's company.
We had good day of sorts. My brother Ollie turned up with his two daughters, my nieces Salamanda and Cassandra, who are fairly undemanding and cute. HLS fawned over them more than her own grandson and mentioned on more than one occasion that she would rather have sired daughters. Saying that, I can understand her dilemma because my ex Roger apparently spent the first five years of his childhood saying 'bummy, tummy, mummy' on repeat and his older brother Gideon once set fire to the local scout hut so in retrospect, perhaps a daughter would have been a blessing.
They departed via taxi at 7:15, I was glad to see them go and nearly threw their coats at them.
Nick's taking me and Seb out tomorrow for a drive to the coast. This is great, I hope he doesn't mind my tuppence 'Flipper Winner' addiction - Roger used to hate it.
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